Article: "Together We Learn"
As we “fall” back into our old routines after the break of summer, it’s easy to get caught up in schedules, deadlines, formal activities and the daily rush that is part of life with children. The carefree, largely unscheduled days of summer become nothing but a memory. But take a moment to look back and think about what you and your children did over the summer and reflect on what they learned and and how they may have learned it. Chances are our children were able to learn a lot, simply by getting out and enjoying their days. Children are naturally curious and their seemingly non-stop questions are the tickets to their life-long learning. We all know that babies learn best through play. This continues well into childhood and, if you allow yourself to play, on into adulthood, too. So how can parents and teachers best facilitate the learning our children need to do in order to become successful, well adjusted, happily functioning adults? Good question.
I believe that our most important job as parents is to be a role model. If we model interest, our children will express interest. Conversely, if we’re bored by something, our children will learn imitate that. Take cleaning, for example. If we model that mopping the floor is an onerous task, our children will learn that it’s not fun to mop the floor. If we go about it with a smile on our face, our children will pick up that it’s not so bad, and may even want to do it for you. The same is true for music. If we model singing and move our bodies to music, our children will learn that it’s fun to make music and that the rhythm we hear can be expressed by our bodies. If we’re self-conscious about our voices and refuse to sing because we think we’re terrible singers, our children will learn that it’s shameful to make music and will be hesitant to express themselves musically. Our children learn so much from watching us – more than we even know they’re learning.
Another key to encouraging a healthy learning environment is to ensure that it is an anxiety-free environment. I know that I find it difficult to learn something new when I feel like I’m being watched and criticized and our children can feel that even more intensely than we do. An environment in which they are free to explore and figure things out for themselves, honouring their own learning style, is an environment in which they will thrive. A class like Music Together facilitates this as performance and perfection are never the goal. Although parents are expected to participate, children are invited to join in only when they’re ready – and if they are never ready to participate in class, they are usually happy to be doing musical play at home. Sometimes the most effective thing a parent or teacher can do is to observe that learning is taking place and back off, leaving the child to satiate their curiosity. This will very often lead to a child who masters a skill far more readily and permanently than one who was criticized or directed through the process.
A Music Together class allows children to play with songs, rhythmic chants and instruments in ways that are comfortable and relaxed. The atmosphere is one of play and fun. Parents very often come out of a class feeling that they themselves have learned something new, but they don’t realize what their child has learned until they get home and the child starts singing part of a song or doing a chant or dancing to a favourite song. The parent and teacher have done nothing to encourage the child’s learning. Nothing, that is, other than providing a safe, playful space and the presence of willing role models.
So even though Fall brings with it schedules and lessons and chaotic rushing, try to remember to allow your children the quiet time they need to assimilate all they’re learning and to allow their own natural curiosity to guide them to new discoveries. Being a positive role model is sometimes the best assistance we can offer.
Clare is a registered Music Together teacher and director of Mills and Maples Music Together.
Originally published in the Lanark, Leeds and Grenville Parent-Child Guidebook Fall 2007. Reprinted with permission.